Adventures in transport

On Sunday I was supposed to fly up to Sydney via Melbourne from Launceston; usually a fairly simple process involving a few hours at most.

Things started to go wrong when I agreed to be dropped off at the airport 3 hours early for my flight because my wife gets nervous driving in the dark. Okay, fair enough, there is a one hour drive on country roads and hitting a kangaroo can ruin your whole evening not to mention your car. Sitting around in the airport really isn't all that bad and the coffee is pretty good at Launceston.

The plane, however, was delayed coming out of Melbourne so was late arriving in Launceston airspace. No biggie, only 45 minutes and I still had enough extra time in Melbourne before my Sydney connection for a quick feed and another coffee.

High winds at Launceston however complicated the landing and meant the pilot had to go around a few times before he could safely land. Still, only an extra half hour or so; I wouldn't have time for dinner in the Virgin lounge at Melbourne, still no panic.

Not so fast! An "engineering problem" became apparent on the plane and the airport mechanic had to be called in from home a half hour drive away. More farnarcling around after he got there and we're ready to board... at last.

My plane to Sydney would be long gone by the time I got to Melbourne though; no worries, the ground staff told me, the plane I was flying to Melbourne was due to head on to Sydney after a quick turn around in Melbourne, they'd arrange to transfer my flight accordingly while I was in the air and I'd be able to re-board the same plane and head on to Sydney; no sweat!

On arrival in Melbourne I find another plane had been assigned to the Sydney flight my plane had been scheduled to do and no more flights would be going to Sydney as we'd missed the curfew... yes Sydney airport, the biggest international airport in Australia has a curfew, to my knowledge the only international airport in the world to have such a silly thing.

Not only had this flight left without me, the ground staff at Melbourne had no knowledge of me or any arrangements that had supposedly been made on my behalf by the poor stressed out Launceston staffer who I in no way blame for this; it really wasn't her fault, but it certainly didn't help me.

The sole remaining ground crew person at the gate in Melbourne did her best to enlist help (I wasn't the only one stranded by all this) to no avail; She proceeded on the herculean task of arranging overnight accommodation for all of us and onward flights.

We were put up in a hotel not too far from the airport overnight and given a $50 meal allowance with a shuttle bus arranged to take us to said hotel.

Two shuttle buses to the hotel came and went but didn't allow myself or one other fellow strandee who'd been waiting at the front of the line since the first one got there as they prioritised the women and families first... you get used to that as a man, I get it, we're bigger and stronger, it doesn't matter that my back is killing me and I'm dog tired by this point having been on the go for almost 12 hours by now, or that with my asthma reacting with the cold night air I feel as though I'm drowning on dry land. We manage to get onto the third bus (just) and soon get settled in at the hotel only to find the restaurant had closed pretty much just as we were walking in the door. We also have to leave a $100 deposit at the desk... I'm half expecting to be ripped off and not have that refunded, it'd be par for the course on this trip!

Next morning, after an ever so refreshing 4 hour sleep, I head on down and check out, board the shuttle back to the airport and head into the Virgin lounge for some breakfast expecting at least half an hour for a nice sit down for coffee, bacon etc... Only to get called for boarding almost as soon as I got in; it seemed somewhat early for the call as the plane wasn't due to even start boarding, but I head on through as the gate is at the other domestic terminal a long way from the lounge... I end up waiting another 35 minutes at the gate as they weren't ready to start boarding after all.

Finally got to Sydney, got on the train from the airport to Central... no seats of course as it's pretty close to peak hour. I could barely stand by this time I was so tired, let alone stand with my bag on a moving train, but you make due.

On Central I have to change for a train to Chatswood and this is where it just gets bizarre. Two trains come in so full there's no room for me on them, other people duck around me and squeeze themselves in but the daggers being looked my way told me I'd in no way be welcome to do so myself; A third train arrives with a little more room but a woman with a unicycle cuts in front of me... yes a unicycle. I still managed to get onto the train only to end up standing in front of unicycle lady who'd snatched herself the last two seats on the train, one for her, the other for her unicycle. I'm not making this up!