Engineering Conundrums, Kebabs, and the Chronomechanical Brain

Good evening, folks.

Well it was, at least in part, a Monday kind of Tuesday, but any kind of Monday, even a Tuesday you can walk (or drive) away from is a good one.

But first, let's establish a new house tradition.

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👕 T-Shirt of the Day

The Shirt du Jour: A certain deep blue police box draped in stone angel wings, bearing the iconic warning: "Don't Blink. Don't ever blink.” Fitting choice for the day to come, perhaps my wardrobe was trying to warn me.

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Act I: Daisy and the Master Mechanic

The morning plan was simple: take our old car, Daisy, into the workshop in Launceston for four fresh spark plugs, and a new thermostat. Running on three cylinders may be alright for Liz, my bike (that’s all she has) but it hasn’t been a joyful experience in a four cylinder car, especially one with a Damoclesian cooling system hanging over her head.

The plugs went smoothly. The thermostat, however, decided to play hide-and-seek. It turns out it wasn't where the mechanic (and simple logic) thought it should be. To actually get to the cursed thing, he had to completely disassemble the top end.

As he wiped grease from his forehead, he muttered a piece of cynical engineering poetry that I am absolutely stealing for my sci-fi universe:

"If there is a hell for automotive design engineers, they will be forced to spend eternity working on the exact engines they designed."

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Act II: Sunlight and Halal Snack Packs

With Daisy’s engine block scattered about the shop, I found myself with an unexpected few hours to kill in the "Moderately Large Smoke" of Lonny.

I wandered up the road to the open-air street food park that’s become a local favourite in town. The Tassie autumn air was brisk, but the sun was out, so I hunkered down in the shade and caught some glorious indirect Vitamin D while hunting for lunch.

I settled on an Australian-adapted dish known as the HSP (Halal Snack Pack). For the uninitiated, imagine a donner kebab stripped of its wrap and served in a takeaway container directly over a bed of piping-hot chips, absolutely smothered in sauce, make mine hot chilli and garlic please. Not even remotely the healthiest option on the menu, but a tasty treat for occasional indulgence.

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Act III: Mapping the Crew and the Clockwork Brain

While digesting the HSP, I pulled out my tablet and went to work on the Argo’s universe, tackling a niggling technical hole that had been bothering me and locking down the core cast.

Because sophisticated computers fry inside the ship's Quantum Decoupling Shell (the Q-Shell), I realised the crew couldn't rely on digital automation to flip the ship at the journey's halfway point. At greater than light speeds (since I’d taken the breaks off yesterday), missing the turnover by a fraction of a nanosecond means flying blind into the void.

The solution? We're going completely retro-futuristic. The Argo will rely on a Tri-Axial Chronomechanical Navigation Computer—a heavy-duty, grease-slicked mechanical clock just like earlier explorer sail ships and their chronometers but running on hyper-stable alloy mainsprings and microscopic ruby gears. Three separate devices time the voyage and hold “votes” on the exact nanosecond mechanically, triggering a hydraulic pressure drop to kill the engines. It turns interstellar flight into a tense, heavy-machinery operation. It has an almost Steampunk/Clockpunk/ Dieselpunk feel and keeps my universe with a solid Age of Sail in space feel.

To command this beast, I finally found our protagonist's name: Jason Callis: It’s clean, rugged, and rolls right off the tongue. Joining him on the deck plates are:

• Peter Gelas: His quick-witted, joke-cracking best friend (fitting, since Gelas is rooted in the ancient Greek word for laughter).

• Helen Kostas: His steadfast, lifelong mentor—a weathered, old-school independent skipper who refuses to wear a corporate uniform and keeps Jason grounded when the galaxy gets messy.

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The Evening Ledger

Daisy is back with the family and ensconced in her usual spot, the universe has a mechanical heartbeat, and some of the characters finally have names, all with a slightly Greek feel to them, but subtly so. All in all, today was a good day… to drive.

Time to kick off the boots, step away from the keyboard, and let the gears rest.

How would you handle a two-month voyage listening to nothing but the heavy whir-tick-whir of a mechanical clock keeping you alive? Let me know in the comments below.

Until next time,

Barefoot, Out.

The Barefoot Blog: Resurrected, Re-booted, and Relativistic

Well. It’s been a minute... or wait, has it really been 8 years??? Oops!

Welcome back to the digital porch. Dust off a chair, oh that's a lot of dust, you may need a whip and a chair, grab a cuppa, and let’s talk about how a Monday that was supposed to be spent quietly staring at app code turned into a 150-kilometer motorcycle mercy dash to the coast, followed by a casual rewrite of the laws of quantum physics.

You know, just a standard casual afternoon in Tassie. I've had worse Mondays.

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Act I: Giving an AI a Brain

The day started innocently enough at the workbench. I’ve been tinkering with a private mobile app project—a gamified productivity tracker heavily inspired by some of my favorite sci-fi and LitRPG universes.

From nothing this morning, to an app that had the short-term memory of a goldfish. If you closed it, it forgot who you were, how much experience you’d earned, and dropped you right back to Level 1. Handy if you want to live Groundhog Day, less handy if you're trying to track actual life progress.

So, I spent the rest of the morning wrestling with local mobile databases. I managed to wire up a rudimentary digital filing cabinet. Now, the system automatically saves your state to the phone's hardware. The code is functional, the interface is updating, and it actually remembers your data when you reboot. It's not pretty, but that'll come with time.

I was just sitting back, feeling smug about my coding prowess, when the universe decided I needed a reality check.

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Act II: The St Helens Emergency Dash

A quick call from a St Helens business with an unresponsive server meant a trip to the coast was on the cards for my Monday. St Helens is about 80Kms away and my only choice of transport for the day (due to circumstances beyond my control) was ol' Liz my 21 year old Triumph Sprint motorcycle. She may be old but she is mighty, and classy... and just a little bit sassy to boot.

It's a lovely long ride down a mountain pass so I can certainly think of worse ways to spend a day and it gave my brain time for a cool down. With the onset of Autumn the air was certainly brisk so I'm glad to have the old man comforts I've accumulated for Tasmanian riding conditions, a 10Kg jacket, battery heated gloves and battery heated insoles... lovely!

On arrival, I could see immediately the problem; we'd had some power fluctuations overnight and the BIOS had reset itself and forgotten not only what kind of hard drive was attached to it but the boot method the operating system used. A quick easy fix, at least for someone with 40 years experience.

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Act III: Two Wheels and Two Months to Alpha Centauri

The best part of a 2.5-hour round-trip on a bike is that the inside of a helmet is the ultimate incubation chamber for big ideas. While the engine hummed and the Tassie scenery blurred past, my brain completely detached from real-world server racks and rocketed out into deep space.

I’m working on a physics engine for a new sci-fi universe—featuring a certain interstellar vessel named the Argo. And on that ride, I realized I needed to fix a massive design flaw in the universe.

If you stick strictly to Einstein's physics, interstellar trade is utterly pointless. Thanks to relativity and time dilation, if a merchant takes a quick trip to a neighboring star system, they might only age a few months, but decades pass for the markets they left behind. They’d return home to find their currency obsolete and their employers dead.

So, on the highway back from St Helens, I threw Einstein out the window.

Instead, I mapped out a framework based on a concept I'm calling a Quantum Decoupling Shell (or Q-Shell). By completely severing a ship's quantum entanglement with the surrounding universe, the ship can completely ignore the cosmic speed limit. Time passes at a perfect 1:1 ratio inside and outside the bubble. No time warping, no paradoxes.

To keep the narrative snappy but realistic, I crunched the numbers: if you accelerate at a mathematically absurd external rate (while the Q-Shell protects the crew from being turned into human soup), a 5-light-year voyage takes almost exactly two months. The power system has to have an upgrade too, so I decided both fission and fusion  are way too inefficient so they use a TC (total conversion) plant that converts all of the matter fed into it into energy.

Better yet, because gravity interferes with the tech, ships have to use solar sails to quietly coast out to the flat waters of a system's rim before they can drop the quantum shutters and punch into the deep void with Bussard Ramjets. It gives the whole universe this incredible, gritty, 18th-century "Age of Sail" maritime vibe.

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The Evening Wrap-Up

So, to recap the ledger for today:

• Apps built: 1 (no longer cursed with electronic Alzheimer's).

• Servers rescued: 1.

• Laws of physics rewritten: All of them... well at least the important ones.

The secret sauce for the universe is officially simmering, the server racks are purring, and I am officially done with data structures and astrophysics for the day. It’s time to kick off the boots, pour something cold, and just chill.

Thanks for stopping by the relaunched space. Let me know in the comments how you’d handle two months of absolute radio silence in the deep black.

Until next time,

Barefoot, Out.

Adventures in transport

On Sunday I was supposed to fly up to Sydney via Melbourne from Launceston; usually a fairly simple process involving a few hours at most.

Things started to go wrong when I agreed to be dropped off at the airport 3 hours early for my flight because my wife gets nervous driving in the dark. Okay, fair enough, there is a one hour drive on country roads and hitting a kangaroo can ruin your whole evening not to mention your car. Sitting around in the airport really isn't all that bad and the coffee is pretty good at Launceston.

The plane, however, was delayed coming out of Melbourne so was late arriving in Launceston airspace. No biggie, only 45 minutes and I still had enough extra time in Melbourne before my Sydney connection for a quick feed and another coffee.

High winds at Launceston however complicated the landing and meant the pilot had to go around a few times before he could safely land. Still, only an extra half hour or so; I wouldn't have time for dinner in the Virgin lounge at Melbourne, still no panic.

Not so fast! An "engineering problem" became apparent on the plane and the airport mechanic had to be called in from home a half hour drive away. More farnarcling around after he got there and we're ready to board... at last.

My plane to Sydney would be long gone by the time I got to Melbourne though; no worries, the ground staff told me, the plane I was flying to Melbourne was due to head on to Sydney after a quick turn around in Melbourne, they'd arrange to transfer my flight accordingly while I was in the air and I'd be able to re-board the same plane and head on to Sydney; no sweat!

On arrival in Melbourne I find another plane had been assigned to the Sydney flight my plane had been scheduled to do and no more flights would be going to Sydney as we'd missed the curfew... yes Sydney airport, the biggest international airport in Australia has a curfew, to my knowledge the only international airport in the world to have such a silly thing.

Not only had this flight left without me, the ground staff at Melbourne had no knowledge of me or any arrangements that had supposedly been made on my behalf by the poor stressed out Launceston staffer who I in no way blame for this; it really wasn't her fault, but it certainly didn't help me.

The sole remaining ground crew person at the gate in Melbourne did her best to enlist help (I wasn't the only one stranded by all this) to no avail; She proceeded on the herculean task of arranging overnight accommodation for all of us and onward flights.

We were put up in a hotel not too far from the airport overnight and given a $50 meal allowance with a shuttle bus arranged to take us to said hotel.

Two shuttle buses to the hotel came and went but didn't allow myself or one other fellow strandee who'd been waiting at the front of the line since the first one got there as they prioritised the women and families first... you get used to that as a man, I get it, we're bigger and stronger, it doesn't matter that my back is killing me and I'm dog tired by this point having been on the go for almost 12 hours by now, or that with my asthma reacting with the cold night air I feel as though I'm drowning on dry land. We manage to get onto the third bus (just) and soon get settled in at the hotel only to find the restaurant had closed pretty much just as we were walking in the door. We also have to leave a $100 deposit at the desk... I'm half expecting to be ripped off and not have that refunded, it'd be par for the course on this trip!

Next morning, after an ever so refreshing 4 hour sleep, I head on down and check out, board the shuttle back to the airport and head into the Virgin lounge for some breakfast expecting at least half an hour for a nice sit down for coffee, bacon etc... Only to get called for boarding almost as soon as I got in; it seemed somewhat early for the call as the plane wasn't due to even start boarding, but I head on through as the gate is at the other domestic terminal a long way from the lounge... I end up waiting another 35 minutes at the gate as they weren't ready to start boarding after all.

Finally got to Sydney, got on the train from the airport to Central... no seats of course as it's pretty close to peak hour. I could barely stand by this time I was so tired, let alone stand with my bag on a moving train, but you make due.

On Central I have to change for a train to Chatswood and this is where it just gets bizarre. Two trains come in so full there's no room for me on them, other people duck around me and squeeze themselves in but the daggers being looked my way told me I'd in no way be welcome to do so myself; A third train arrives with a little more room but a woman with a unicycle cuts in front of me... yes a unicycle. I still managed to get onto the train only to end up standing in front of unicycle lady who'd snatched herself the last two seats on the train, one for her, the other for her unicycle. I'm not making this up!

A Trip to the Little Smoke

We had to head into Launceston today to get my lovely wife's CPAP machine serviced today. She bought a replacement seal for her mask which I'm hoping will enable me to sleep tonight; last night was like trying to sleep in a wind tunnel.

While there, we had lunch at a cheap and cheerful Chinese place called Dumpling Paradise. The dumplings we had weren't spectacular, but the other dishes we got were surprisingly good.

My achievements for today:

1. I drove a round trip of approximately 200Kms for a combined business, shopping and medical purpose. I do love to multi task.
2. I did a first draft of a letter I need to work on to our local MP, the Communications Minister and NBN co to plead the case for our little village to have them replace our old corroded copper wire telecommunications infrastructure.
3. I managed to update this blog for a third day in a row, a feat I've not managed for years.

Baby steps still, but I am getting more used to doing this everyday. With a little more perseverance I hope to make it a habit and expand on my levels of achievement; inertia is a hard thing to shift so I need to put in some effort in order to build up some momentum.

A short update

It was a lengthy day today due to a couple of jobs in relatively remote portions of the Northern Midlands of sunny Tasmania today so a short entry will have to suffice.

My three things today:

1. I took down and watered the plant that lived in our bathroom today
2. I removed the GUI from my Linux based web server
3. I managed to make it to this blog for a second day in a row.

I know, it's not much, but it's a start. If I can just keep knocking over at least three things a day, make it a habit and recognise myself for doing so I think it may just be a cure for procrastination... eventually.

Three things (minimum) per day.

Dear reader,
                   high past time I revisited this blog. I think I need it to keep on top of things. I'm  a chronic procrastinator and I need a prod to keep me moving so what I've come up with is a variation on Jeff Carver's learn at least three things a day idea. I want to make sure I document at least three things I achieve per day as evidence to myself that I'm actually doing things because at times I get a little down on myself for never achieving anything, one of the perils of slow times when you're self employed.

They don't have to be big world changing things. For example, today my list was:

1. I've restarted (again) blogging. Something which I quite frankly enjoy but just haven't seemed to have gotten around to.
2. I've done a couple of loads of washing that've been waiting for over a week to be done and brought in the washing that's been hanging on the line for the last couple of weeks, it's had more than enough natural re-rinses and airing by now.
3. I started the idea of doing this achievement list.
4. I've sprayed weed killer on all the thistles and other, now more numerous, weeds around the yard.

As I said, they don't have to be Earth shattering, but even just these simple things and the fact that I've acknowledged  to myself that I've done them makes me feel more like a useful human being again.

Fraudband

This could well be the issue that the Liberals use to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in the upcoming election. The proposed broadband project they outlined is breathtaking in its total lack of long term vision. While it may cost 2/3rd of the NBN at first, and be rolled out faster, it will seriously stifle Australia economically and technologically for decades to come.

In addition it has a hidden much higher eventual cost due to required maintenance of the aging infrastructure it piggy backs off. Think about the difference in buying a laser printer and an inkjet. The inkjet may be cheaper to buy, but the cost per page of ink rapidly eclipses the price differential. The price of on going maintenance of the copper wire network the fraudband proposal will utilise will increase each year till eventually we have no choice but to scrap it and roll out alternatives anyway. This makes the "Total Cost of Ownership" of the Liberal proposal astronomically higher than the existing NBN system.

 For a usually forward thinking guy like Malcolm to be backing this nonsense is hard to reconcile. I know I'm a geek and pretty sensitive to smoke and mirrors in technology legislation, but surely anyone who uses the internet, 88.8% of the population,according to ITU, can see this proposal for what it is.

They've not even tried to hide the lack of significant improvement in performance. All they've done is play with the word faster. Yes, it'll be rolled out faster, but the end result is not faster, better or cheaper in any way shape or form than NBN. We're already a technological third world country, this lunacy only seeks to ensure that we fall even further behind the rest of the world.

Now, some people may think "Yeah, sure, but he's just a geek out for what's best for himself and not the country". Not at all. Under the NBN roll out plan, my sleepy little town wont get anything other than maybe, if we're very lucky, some second hand ADSL2+ equipment for our exchange. At 120 population, when I'm here, we're too small a town to register. While under the fraudband proposal, we probably would get an upgrade. I just don't believe  it's in the best interest of anybody to buy into an already rusty old banger that's a gas guzzler too.

In closing dear reader, I propose some further reading on the subject. The following link is an excellent article on the misinformation being spread by those opposed to the NBN:

The top 10 NBN myths debunked